May 2013
iwilleatyourenglish:
iwilleatyourenglish:
once my baby was being really annoying so i put it in the basement but then i forgot and decided i didn’t want my basement anymore so i got rid of the door and then decided to do the rest later and when child protective services came they couldn’t get to my kid so they just wandered around my house
i’m talking about the sims please don’t call the...
iamtonysexual:
jonandtheon:
jonandtheon:
jonandtheon:
MY BOOK IS LOCKED IN A CLASSROOMN
RED ASLERT
I TOLD THIS REALLY NICE KID WHO NEVER CAUSES TROUBLE AND HEREACHED INTO HIS BACKPACK AND PULLED OUT A KEYCHAIN WITH KEYS TO THE CLASSROOM AND UNLOCKED IT FOR ME??
update i asked him why he had those keys and he said “its not important” im so lost
He’ll be vital to your quest later,...
3 tags
ohmypheels:
everyone is like “omg tumblr should delete blogs that have been inactive for 2+ years” but i dont think they should
just imagine in 10 years time, in the back of your mind you remember tumblr, you open it up and you’re still logged in and you get to look at your blog and remember all this.
now imagine if you went back to see your old blog of your teenage years and it had been...
thedramaticsneeze:
hoshigumayuugi:
i actually like being up early i just don’t like getting up early
YOU PUT THIS IN WORDS
stolenpandorica:
elisetheawesome:
kyoukokiriqiri:
why do we call periods “periods” when we can call them something cooler like “bloodstain fever”
or ”the crimson horror”
are u guys okay
sherlockedbyphaninthetardis:
davedirk:
davedirk:
lauraforgood:
m33wlin:
WE WERE WATCHING THIS MOVIE IN GYM AND THE MAIN CHARACTER WAS LIKE “I’M TIRED AND HUNGRY AND HORNY” AND ME AT THIS OTHER CUTE GUY IN THE BACK JUST BOTH GO “SAME” AND LOOK AT EACH OTHER AND I WINKED AND EVERYONE WAS SO UNCOMFORTABLE BUT I WAS LAUGHING REALLY HARD AND THIS IS WHY I DONT HAVE FRIENDS
can we have a...
hungarian:
it’d be cool to speak like 20 different languages & keep it a secret from everyone & then during a time of crisis, u could speak some fluent russian to some russian guy holding a gun to your head & all your friends will be like daaamn
sloth-with-a-blog:
thatpsychowriter:
For all of you who are worried that there might be secret mind readers in the room just try MENTALLY SCREAMING and if anyone jumps or flinches, you know
you really live up to your url
hi hello if you’re reading this i hope something good happens to you today
snowwanderer:
chrissykilljoybitchtits:
inc-omparable:
im-fandoomed:
hitlervevo:
why the fuck cant we text the police
lets say there is a murderer in ur house and you’re hiding behind your sofa and you do have your phone with you but you can’t call the police because the murderer might hear you
Here in Canada you can
Here in England we just… scream and run
Here in Scotland we paint...
1 tag
3 tags
bradburythequeen:
i want leonardo dicaprio to be nominated for an oscar for the great gatsby and i want him to win but if he doesn’t, i want him to just go
“No.”
and walk onto the stage, take the statue and walk out completely calmly and everyone else just lets him
2 tags
yuppadupp:
thewholockgames:
districteverthorne:
what if someone wrote a book and the plot was basically amazing and the characters were awesome and at the end of the book, you’re dying to know what happens, all you see is a ripped page and the author actually did it on purpose and you’ll never know what happens because all the other published copies are like that too
calm down satan
Time...
1 tag
4 tags
charlie-bradbury-our-queen:
thelovelytennantcollins:
wandererofgallifrey:
lumos5000:
95malene:
wondering how many miles I’ve scrolled on tumblr
and i would scroll 500 miles and i would scroll 500 more
just to be the one who scrolled uh-thousand miles to re-blog this once more
I like how david’s head hasn’t been tumblred.
he’s the one we scroll 500 miles for
while watching animated movies at age 2: hell yeah motherfucker
while watching animated movies at age 12: hell yeah motherfucker
while watching animated movies at age 20: hell yeah motherfucker
while watching animated movies at age 200: hell yeah motherfucker
2 tags
3 tags
peevesies:
i went down to the middle school today for relay for life and i saw my old social studies teacher i had a crush on (don’t talk to me) and he was like “hey how are you i haven’t seen you in ages?” and the first thing i blurted out was “I JUST TURNED 18” and jesus christ if that’s not the thirstiest thing i’ve said in my whole life
monkeyaround92:
tessaviolet:
azulaang:
older-aang:
theinvisiblemonsters:
abukkitofcelestialintent:
do people actually stand in front of a microphone for hours making weird gibberish sounds for them to use in the sims games
because if so then i need to see this happen at least once in my lifetime
if not more
well you’re in luck then
THAT. LAUGH.
Katie Perry was also one those...
thehawklegacy:
If you ever see me with a shirt on of a show, movie or whatever on it that you love too
you have the right to sit your ass down in front of me and start talking
my public representation of my fandoms is an invitation to come and talk to me about it
shannananan:
mercimonamie:
i fell in love with him like ketchup falls out of a bottle: slowly, and then all at once.
oh my god you managed to one up john green.
i like to eat.
but i’m not hungry. which usually has never stopped me before. and i don’t want my stomach to die. which is what’s stopping me now. but it’s just so weird not to have eaten in so long. like. my brain keeps yelling and telling me my body needs nutrients! but my stomach’s like take it easy! and i’ve been trying to listen to my stomach but my stupid brain. and...
just-laff:
egberts:
if i ever met a genie i wouldnt wish for a million dollars id wish that whenever i bought something i’d always have the right amount of money to pay for it in my pocket
you are one of the great thinkers of our time
1 tag
okay.
that was not the most pleasant way to be awaken. also. yeah. probs shouldn’t have eaten today. it’s just. first of all. free food. second of all. my food’s gonna go bad. there’s just so much. i really should freeze it now since it doesn’t look like i’m gonna be eating it all soon? gah. gonna make a fruit smoothie tomorrow. that can’t go wrong. maybe have a...
loverstabbedaswordthroughmyheart:
i-was-so-alone-and-iou-so-much:
vangoghstars:
sparkafterdark:
glamour-parade:
How do you politely tell someone that you want them naked on top of you
I’m pretty much positive that’s why poetry was even invented in the first place.
for the constellations of your skin to brush against the earth of mine i would swim the seas a thousand times (please...
mishaoverlord:
ex-cuse-u:
i was browsing through ellen degeneres’ youtube videos and when i was watching her interview segments i noticed a trend where she keeps the comments enabled for all of her adult interviews but when she has a child on the show she disables any of the comments to protect the child from any bullying or negative feedback and that is why she and her team of producers are...
