December 2010
thoughts
maybe i should do my videos before night….. but i did start it early. it’s just people came in. and then i redid it like a bajillion times. but i finally did finish it with 3 hours to spare….. WHY WON’T YOU GET ON YOUTUBE????
long ago
Rosa Parks. bus. 55 years ago. just 55. i mean…… idk. racism. discrimination. segregation. it was int he history books. it just feels like it should’ve been a lot longer ago. i mean yes we’ve come a long long ways. but as a human race. 55 years is nothing. could we really have changed that much? i feel that we have. but i still feel…. ashamed? that as a human...
SO FRAKKIN HUNGRY
I JUST WANNA EATTTTT…….. gosh. i just paid four frikkin thousand dollars yesterday. and i understand that since i paid around noon they might not have gotten to it by dinner time. BUT IT’S BEEN A WHOLE FRIKKIN DAY. i mean come ucla. get it together. i want to eat!!!! so then i go to check up on my BAR cause i mean i just paid yesterday. the balance has gotta be 0. no. three...
wow.
talking about being thankful. well not really. but in my vidyo i was. so i’m in the lounge. a guy comes in. drops his apple. and obviously has never heard of water because he thinks the 3 seconds it spent on the ground made it inedible. and he tossed it. just like that. i mean. just tossed it. :[
oh and my vid won’t be up soon because in the middle of making it people entered the...
“Are you gonna kiss me or not? Are we gonna do this or what? I think you know i...”
– Thompson Square <3
November 2010
problem solved
you know that feeling when you’re doing a problem. and you sortta know what you’re doing but every step you take has a fraction of uncertainty? and you arrive at an answer and you worked so hard and you look at the back of the book and as you’re turning the pages your stomach is also turning and you really really realllly hope you got the right answer? and then you’re on...
it's like a diary entry
it’s past 12 so it’s a new day. so technically i wasn’t lying when i said that my last post would be the last post ‘today.’
so i was feeling silly but it’s like 1 so it’s understandable. and i went into the elevator. and those moments alone are so rare. that i get kind of excited. plus i’m always happy when the elevator’s workin’. but i...
i don't like your personality.
i’ve been posting a lot today. this’ll be my last one. but no promises.
i don’t like it when people…… judge. i mean….. people should judge. i mean it’s character right? how people see things and stuff? and liking things? not liking things? but….. idk maybe i shouldn’t take it so personally when people don’t like the things i like? but...
the simple life
it sure is beautiful innit? i wish i lived in the south. like the country. with the ya’ll and the pop and the plaid and the daisies and the overalls. it might seem a little shallow? idk. the simple life seems nice. i wish i was a country girl wishing for a city girl’s life. but i’m stuck here somewhere in the middle in LA? :/ i really like Bailey from the Suite Life on Deck. it...
got it for everything
oh but i got awkward for the ‘don’t know you well enough to make small talk only wave hi’ people too. didn’t i tell you? when you’re too far away from a person to just wave and walk on. so you wave and then smile at each other until you finally pass by awkwardly looking at each other with nothing too say. [it also applies when you’re too far away so you...
i miss
you. but i also miss listening to the radio as i fall asleep.
i also miss hearing a good song, turning the radio up next to my bed, and turning on my touch lamp that has three settings and opening the top drawer of my nightstand, leaning over my bed, and fumbling my hand around in it hoping i have a pen or pencil in there and a scratch piece of paper to write down a few of the lyrics to the...
Watchi like feel good music :] <3
lols and things
when youtube changed their format i was on the site. so i had a previous window up with youtube’s old format when i opened another, seeing the new format. i had thought of screen shooting the old format just for memory keeping sake [like ‘oh what’s that? oh it’s a screen shot of yt. oh my. look how different it used to be!’…. or something like that] or because...
more awkward
from yours truly. so have you ever seen someone in passing that you don’t really know. but know enough not to be able to awkwardly look away or at your phone in silence and avoidance. so you smile and say hi. and the other person goes ‘how are you’ [mind you you’re still walking past each other] and you go ‘good’ or whatever short thoughtless answer you pull...
the leaves
are changing colors. i never experienced it like this before. because now i’m living here. and the leaves are changing. while i’m living here. it’s weird. and yet not everyone seems as amazed as i am. i mean they do that every year. but this year. i see them. everyday. all the time. where ever i go. the leaves are changing colors and so am i. it’s just this time i’m...
i don't know that much about worldly affairs
coreyconstable:
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but this sounds horrible. why can’t we all just get along? rainbows and butterflies….
maybe
if you spend your whole life trying to be other people that just means you are the parts of the people you are trying to be. and not that you are never yourself. because you are always yourself. even when you are trying to be other people…. right?
you know
that place where footprints disappear? sigh. i haven’t been on the beach in awhile. i don’t really like the beach that much. i like the concept of things. i like the concept of a lot of things. like space. and Christmas. but when it comes around to it. i like the concept in my mind better than reality. like wanting to get closer to the night sky but when you’re out there you...
i realize now how like everyone else i am. but i truly believe the 90s were the best. because i have not lived in any other time. but for reals. i miss boy meets world. and all the nick/disney shows. oh what can’t now be as nice as then. and why can’t now be as fantismal as will be.
trying to upload photos and vidyos from the last like 6 months…… SO HARD>and everything...
regrets
i regret it so much. what was my issue. seriously i must’ve been a stupid kid. like forreals. why didn’t read harry potter earlier? gosh. i had to have been a trouble child. oh boys. if only ya know. all these lil kids reading hp before they can even talk. i mean yeah. i shoulda been one of them. lol but forcereal tho. sad i didn’t get to see hp during this break but no worries...
thoughts i need to let go
ok a few things i need to get down:
1. i’m gonna own nanowrimo next year. just see.
2. i need to read mockingjay
3. stores that sell clothes in white black brown grey and various hues that daren’t venture too far from these seem very elitist in my opinion. although i’m fairly quite certain i’d like their chic style. just the look of their store would deter me from...
a certain feeling
i’m a very guarded person. i’d say collectively i’ve shown about 40% of my true self to people. partly because i really do not know who i am at all. but mostly cause i don’t want people to know who i am. so even though i flaunt the 40% of myself that i have revealed. the rest of me is locked up and iron shut and cladded. i can’t wait til when i find someone i...
ahhh
will i ever not be creepy? i mean i really cannot believe what i just did. i mean. i don’t think any kind of creeper scale, even the really good ones. would be able to detect the full creepiness of what i just did. oy vey. sigh. so. creepy.
editt: i realize that awhile from now i will have forgotten what this is referring to. so this is more for me than for you. but no doubt it will get...
i'm fairly certain
glee will do a rendition of fireworks. i’m kinda excited. i hope they do it well.
I do this. →
grey and bloopy
the only thing i know about myself for certain. one hundred percent. something that is completely me. no doubt. is that i like country music. the only thing. and even that is a lie. because at times i even question that. i wish i knew more things about myself. cause if i don’t know me what do i know? i feel like if i were to be a color i would be a big blob of grey. i mean you can see it and...
Remember when Ron watched Hermione sleeping every...
daleksontumblr:
Oh no, wait. Harry Potter is a good book series.
“grateful to be a little boat, full of water, still floating”
– John Green
door wedge →
the spin cycle in the washing machine
we are the people around us. we are the places that surround us. and no matter how much we think that we are who we made ourselves to be. it’s a lie. we had no choice in the matter. what we have become has not been a result of our own doing. the world has shaped us. taken our soft child clay and manipulated us. then when the time is right the world leaves us out on a window pane to dry up....
is it snowing in here or is it just me?
today i place three snowballs in front of people’s dorms. no it’s not snowing in los angeles. the front in the freezer section of our minifridge had grown to half an inch [we’re supposed to defrost at an eighth] so i took a spoon and scraped some off. now half of the fridge is at an eighth and 3 dorms have been snowballified. i call success.
dormant, not extinct.
there’s a uke that lives next door. a [clarinet?] that lives one more door down. a guitar that lives quite a few doors up. i think the guitar and a couple of other instruments share the same room. diagonally across from that guitar and other miscellaneous instruments lives a piano. i’m glad college hasn’t signified the death of music.
edittttt: TRUMPET!!!! i’m fairly...
bouncing?
i can feel the bouncing you speak of. like the bounce house has deflated but the panicked child trapped inside is still trying to bounce. but the air has been suctioned out and the more he wriggles the more air just escapes. positive feedback. they call it positive feedback like it’s positive but all the feelings are negative. it’s kind of like being too big for the playground. the...
drunk vlogging
i don’t know how i feel about it.
hear no evil
thank the lord i never had headphones before this. cause i’m pretty sure if i did my hearing would be shot. blaring music is something i can’t live without. it’s how i keep my insides from exploding. i hope i get home soon before i lose my sense of hearing. i tried keeping it down but really. with these headphones it’s just too easy.
let's get drunk tonight.
i like being a nerd. more into the vlogbrothers than going out and getting drunk. and i’ve come to accept that a lot of people drink. but when the only conversation people seem to able to make is about drinking. them drinking other people drinking. what kind of drinks they drink. what they’ve done when they drink. the people they’ve met while drinking. the kind of drunk they are....
security
the only place we have a chance is a place ‘the future’ does not exist. so i’ll let go of you if you promise not to come back. this is my place. i don’t know how you got in.
edit: for future reference ‘a place ‘the future’ does not exist’=dreams
remember how to breathe
it’s like trying to remember a dream except all you can get is the feeling it gave you. and you’re trying so hard to remember. and then it comes back. flashes. flashes of still photos from your dream. and even though not everything fits together and it wouldn’t make any sense to anyone else. the flashes. although they don’t move. are enough. and you remember the dream.
...
short lived
sometimes i think of things. but i’m too lazy to get it in writing. and then when i can get it down i don’t remember what it was. and it’s forever lost. and i feel sad cause it’s life was just so short.
drifting above
i live my life at night up in space. yes it is hard when everyone else in on earth. but earth’s gravitational pull is just so small comparatively. i can see how others live their lives but i can’t imagine ever being able to do that. there’s just too much light in the daytime. besides you can see better at night.
and all we see are spots
when you look up at the sky, marvel at the stars but remember also the many planets you cannot see and how very blind we are.
cause i saved a few and i keep them in a jar
you know how when you put rocks in a jar. you put the big rocks in first. then you put the medium sized rocks in. then the pebbles. and then the grains of sand? well i wanna be that. or do that. except instead of rocks it’ll be good things. like smiles and hugs and gifts and happiness and things that make the world a better place and improve humanity and give people hope and stuff….
what makes you super
there will always be someone taller, shorter, bigger, smaller, fatter, skinnier, funnier. someone more talented, more loud, more crazy, more weird. there will always be someone less fortunate, less confused. someone better, cuter, prettier. but there will never be anyone more you. so you’ve really got nothing to worry about.
